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05/13/2012

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Bening

Marital counseling will only work if BOTH praites want it to work. The fact that he has moved out to be with another woman sounds to me as if he's not interested in resolving whatever issues there were that prompted him to not only cheat on you with a mistress over two years ago, but to move completely out of your life and the marital home. I would think that you'd have consulted with an attorney by now and moved toward severing your relationship with him as he has done with you and then resolved the financial issues that need to be addressed. Then you can move forward with your life and find a man that is going to be there with you for the long term. Counseling will only work individually if he believes this his ways are wayward as hyou think they are. Obviously he doesn't agree with you.

Andreas

Sorry to say this, but if he's been with her for two years believe me all the colnesuing in the world won't bring him back to you. If he started seeing her two years ago, what you really have is a 13 year marriage that ended two years ago if not literally or on the surface, deep down inside in terms of his commitment to it and to you. If I were you, I'd see the counselor on your own to help you work through your feelings and get back on your feet. Single life can be a challenge, but it is also a lot of fun. Given time, you might find it's a lot more satisfying than the past two years of your marriage have been and you might even find lasting happiness! All the best,

Jack

it seems to me like you're the only one working on the maaigrre. he, on the other hand has stopped being intimate with you, has moved out, and is still seeing his mistress of two years.meanwhile, you are sitting here in limbo. you can certainly suggest couples counseling. my guess is that he either won't go or will simply go through the motions of going. personally, i would quietly start contacting lawyers and planning your end game. this man has been treating you like garbage for two years. why should you have to sit waiting around for him to change? it also sounds like he might be simply waiting for the time to be right (or the kids to turn 18) to dump you for the mistress.

Khaisa

Mechelle, I tell Bryan the same thing. I think there is no earthly roasen why I shouldn't be able to get a $4 cup of coffee every single day. Well, no earthly roasen except for money. Other than that, no roasen at all!Kristen, LOL! That would be so funny. It's bad enough that I thought Ginger's middle name was Amber for a whole day. Now I'm totally adding Sinnamon to the mix. Poor Ginger.Melissa, you're definitely not alone in your tardation. I just hope my tardation doesn't make yours worse. That would be mean.[]

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Wakhidun

both of you guys need to seat down and just be honest with each other. for exlampe you could say **** i love you so much, i really want us to work out. I want to do everything in my power to keep are love alive. That is why we need to start talking about are emotions, how we feeling,are problems so we can fix them baby. You know why I want ti fix it babe, its because I love you from the bottom of my heart. I know when I tell you I love you, you think its a normal thing. But i want you to believe it baby every time, I cant see my self with nobody else, but only you. So what do you say you want to fix this . Let me know what happned

Muhammad

Each write a letter exilpaning about the way you feel about things.Marriage is never easy it's a matter of talking and compromising.Sometimes when your young though, it's difficult to discuss things without it turning into a heated arguement because your both shouting at each other.By writing it down and you both sitting quietly on your own reading what the other person has to say about the situation, you will find that what is written sinks in and you will think about it more carefully than if these things were said face to face. You can also be totally honest without embarrassment.It works, believe me do try it.

Chamroeun

This is a good post and it kind of further eliaxpn the behavior of this guy I was dealing with three years ago. When we first started talking he just never seemed that interested. He would call but to enough, he just generally put in minmum effort. My conclusion to that was that he was that into me, and I kept it moving and went with the guy that seemed into me. Even though I like the first guy better at first. Fast forward to earlier this year I run into the guy I figured wasn't into me, all for him to ask me why we stopped talking. I told him it was because he didn't like me, which is cool it happens. His reponse was that he did really like me but he didn't want to seem thristy. Well damn, that's just the story of my life because he's the 3rd guy to tell me this after the fact. So the moral of the story is, yeah nobody wants to come off as thristy but at the same you have to show some interest too.

Dedie

I have never had to resort to this but to anewsr your question of when would it be good to do that Answer- Anytime you feel as though the lines of communication have closed between the two of you. Which can happen often, but anything worth keeping is worth working at. Being happy afterwards is just a perk of the success of the actual counseling.~good luck

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Riyaz

Has he been gone for 2 years now? Or did he just recently leave?Anyway he sudons like he would benefit from both, hon.I'm sorry your having to go through and deal with this. Don't give up hope until it's crystal clear to you, that there's just no saving it. Only you know your husband and the details.Good luck ~

Azez

The best answer is when both ptaries participate honestly and openly without repercussions. If you can agree to that then you have a chance. The first years can be tough and challenging. Try some time working with your church pastor before going the professional route. Good luck to you whatever happens.

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